Dementia is serious. It’s a leading cause of disabilities in older adults in the UK, and if it isn’t managed properly, it can have some pretty disastrous consequences that extend to the entire family.
That’s why it’s terribly important to make sure that your parent with dementia gets the right level of support.
And it’s also why it’s so important to keep an eye out for symptoms of dementia in your parents if they haven’t been diagnosed with it.
To be clear, a parent with dementia might not need outside dementia care straight away, but there comes a time when some help is needed.
If you aren’t sure what dementia is, simply put, dementia is not so much a disease as a group of symptoms caused by other conditions.
Another way to put it is to describe dementia as being an umbrella term that describe a group of symptoms causing memory loss, language loss, reduced judgement and reduced problem solving, as well as other thinking skills.
Of course, some of these simply come with getting older, and it can be very difficult to tell the difference between normal aging and an early sign of dementia. To make it more difficult, the early signs of dementia are often intermittent, and there’s a natural tendency to overlook symptoms by misattributing them other causes.
but when these symptoms start to get severe enough to interfere with the activities of daily life or social and occupational functions, it crosses into the realm of dementia and support is needed.
Here are seven early signs that show that your parent needs support:
Dementia is associated with memory loss, but so is normal aging. However, when increasing or regular memory loss can be observed as a regular occurrence, it may be time to start taking notice.
Research shows that the sufferer of dementia tends to be the person who notices memory loss first and more than anyone else, so if one of your parent has been complaining of increased memory loss, that could be an early sign of dementia.
This is especially true if it is starting to lead to disruption to daily life like missing appointments and usual daily tasks.
The most noticeable sign of dementia to family members tends to be occasional changes to personality and mood swings.
Again, this is easy to misattribute to other causes (like vague explanations due to fatigue or stress), so it’s important to respond to the small things you notice.
If your parent already has a diagnosis of dementia, and these changes are becoming even more pronounced, that’s usually a good sign that extra assistance is needed, even if it’s because the biggest beneficiary will be you, or the family member who has been caring for your parent.
If your parent starts getting lost or disorientated in familiar places, that can cause significant stress and be particularly upsetting, both for your parent and the family. It’s also dangerous and can lead to accidents.
If you notice your parent becoming disorientated regularly, that is a clear indication that you should consider dementia care so that there is always someone who can take care of your loved one.
A common sign and byproduct of dementia is the inability to think clearly and make good decisions, from out of character behaviour in social settings to giving money away or making highly questionable (and out of character) financial decisions.
People who have dementia tend to begin to withdraw after a while for a variety of reasons. The real problem with this is that your parent will end up isolated if they continually withdraw, and that has severe emotional and psychological consequences for them.
If you notice that your parent is spending less time in conversation with their friends or missing the occasional regular social engagement because they don’t feel like it, or were tired, or any kind of non-specific excuse, that’s something to pay attention to.
One of the common effects of dementia is a decreased ability for a person to look after themselves.
This can manifest in a number of ways but often shows up in a decline of personal hygiene and in not being able to manage their other health needs like taking medication.
As soon as this starts to appear in your parent, it is an important sign that more support is needed since it can lead to other serious health complications.
Sometimes it’s not so much that your parent has a specific need that you want a professional caregiver to meet, but that you or another family member who cares for your parent needs additional support.
Caring for a parent with dementia is increasingly demanding and comes with a significant emotional burden that the family member has to carry, alongside other responsibilities, more often than not. It can also be traumatic to watch a loved one decline before your eyes.
That situation is often exacerbated by feelings of guilt because you feel as though you should be looking after your parent, the one who provided for you when you were young.
But the well-being of an informal caregiver is also important, and there is nothing wrong with getting dementia care for your parent. In fact, when you begin to feel overwhelmed or exhausted, that’s a sign that the right thing to do is to get some help in – for your sake and for the sake of your parent.
The key principle is to take note of any small changes to memory, behaviour and personality and act on them earlier rather than later.
But taking action can be difficult. Either you have to break the news that you think your parent has dementia and needs help, or you need to tell a previously independent person that you think they need even more assistance.
This can be met with resistance and anger, and it’s understandable if you feel some reluctance to have the difficult conversation.
In the conversation, you’ll want to do your best to stay calm and keep dwelling on the fact that their wellbeing is your highest priority. You’ll also want to remind yourself that you are doing what’s best for you parent.
You can reach out to us directly if you’d like some advice or help with having the conversation with your parent, even if it’s simply to get an idea of what home-based dementia care looks like so you have all the information your parent might want.
At the end of the day, if you have a parent with dementia, they will almost certainly require a level of care that you cannot meet by yourself. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that, and you should certainly reach out in good time for both your parent’s well-being and for your own.
Help is available.
Q1. What is the difference between residential care and live-in care?
Residential care is provided in a care home. If you were to use residential care for your loved one, they would need to go to a care home and leave their home behind.
Live-in care, like the care we offer, is care provided in the home of your loved one. They do not have to leave their home and memories – the care that they uniquely need comes to them.
Q2. Do you offer live-in care?
Yes! You don’t have to have a full-time live-in carer for dementia care, but ewe do offer it, and we also offer respite care so you can take a break from the demands of caring for a loved one with dementia.
Q3. What happens if my loved-one’s needs change?
Our care is always flexible and person-centred. It’s designed to change as your loved one’s needs change. In fact, our carers will look for signs that suggest that we need to sit down with you and your loved one to adjust the care plan to better serve your loved one.
Q4. Do you provide dementia care near me?
If you live in Bedfordshire, Gloucestershire, Hertfordshire, Northamptonshire and Oxfordshire, the answer is yes, and we’d love to help you.
Q5. How much does dementia care cost?
It varies. This depends completely on how much care you require and depends on the care plan we put together with you and your loved one with dementia.
We're here to support you every step of the way. Whether you have questions about our services or need assistance in finding the right care for your loved one, our compassionate team is ready to help.
We understand that this journey can be challenging and we're committed to providing you with the information and support you need.
